The Edge of a Cliff
by Misterida
Summary: Alan is injured whilst on a mission.  Between bouts of consciousness he looks back on his life following on from the events in the Movie.  First time publisher. Rated just in case.
1. Chapter 1

Consciousness returned slowly to Alan in a cloud of pain. He was hanging from the edge of a cliff; his harness a tangled mess. Alan attempted to assess the level of his injuries. He glanced down and immediately wished he hadn't. The sharp pole that had supported one of the sides of Mobile Control was sticking from his midriff. Alan slammed his eyes closed but could still see nothing but the horrific injury. He could hear his breaths coming in fast sharp puffs.

_Gotta call for help_. Alan thought wildly. He knew of course that this was a lost hope from the start. His helmet was no longer on his head although where it had gone Alan had no idea. He panicked with this notion briefly as he tried to work out what he could and could not remember. After a few seconds of blind panic Alan felt memories working their way to the surface. They were not recent memories but Alan sank back down into them anyway as he remembered that reading the inside of his eyelids was a fascinating past time.

As the darkness once more descended he did not hear the pleas for help that escaped the very reason he was hanging from the edge of the cliff.


	2. Chapter 2

_Hi everyone, welcome to my first FF story. This has not been beta-read and all mistakes are my own. Hopefully as I get into the swing of this I will aim for weekly updates; possibly more depending on my Uni work load._

_DISCLAIMER: Whilst I wish I did; I don't. Sadly, the Thunderbirds still belong to the Anderson's *sigh*._

Alan dreamed back to his personal debrief after his first mission. Alan had been sent out on a rescue with his four brothers. He had expected to be a full part of the mission but instead he had been stuck in mobile control with John whilst Gordon and Scott coordinated the victims, the injured, the other emergency services and handled the fire. John patiently explained everything that was going on; not just in mobile control but also what would be happening in Thunderbird Five, as well as at Command & Control. Alan resented being stuck in mobile control and would have probably thrown a tantrum if he wasn't with patient and calm John. Alan guessed that was the exact reason that John was on mobile control for this mission was because Alan would be less able to argue with John out of all of his brothers. He knew it and resented that too. Alan was frustrated because he had got exactly what he had wanted but it still wasn't what he really wanted.

After the family debrief Jeff asked the others to go but requested Alan to stay. There was a silence as Jeff picked up the family photo that was sat on his desk. It had only been taken about 30 minutes before the avalanche. Jeff sighed heavily.

"We don't communicate very well, do we?" He said still staring at the family photo.

Alan opened his mouth to argue this comment. He then realised that his father had said 'we' and it certainly wasn't deniable. Alan closed his mouth. He then saw that his father had been watching him closely whilst he had had his internal debate. Jeff smiled.

"I've had a chance to think over my parenting techniques since the Hood's attack." Jeff said slowly. "I am thankful that we have been given another chance, Alan. You mean the world to me and the world to this family, despite how it may seem sometimes. I should have explained things properly to you and I am sorry that I didn't."

Jeff hesitated trying to gauge what Alan was thinking from the look on his son's face. He thought a second and then continued.

"I am going to explain to you how I would to handle your training and your progress in the team. I know that some of it you won't agree with, however, I want to finish what I have to say without interruption and then I want to hear what you have to say. I don't want either of us to have to shout to get our opinion across anymore."

Alan smiled tightly and had agreed.

Jeff's prediction was right. There was a lot that Alan didn't agree with. However, he kept his mouth shut tightly and listened. And he didn't just hear what Jeff said but listened to what he meant.

"It is a lot harder for you Alan then for any of your brothers. Gordon was older than you when IR was ready to start. All your life you have heard about what we planned and then had to watch from the side lines whilst we went out. I think if I was in your position I would feel like I was being left behind and then being sent to school would feel like I was being sent away." At the surprised look on Alan's face Jeff laughed. "I know it was a long time ago but I was a teenager once too. The only thing I struggle with is that I was an only child. You have four brothers. I worry that if you stay here on the island you are going to miss out on so much. All of us had a life before we joined IR and I want you to have that chance too. There will be so much that you will miss once you become a full time member and I don't want you to resent that in a few years. There must be something else that you dream of Alan. There has to be something else that you want to do with your life."

There was a silence that lasted a couple of minutes as Alan thought heavily about what his father had said. Once Jeff's wishes had been put into context they actually made a lot of sense. Alan finally understood that his father only wanted what was best for him even if he didn't always go the best way about it. Alan walked to the window and looked out over the pool where his brothers were playing pool volleyball.

"Talk to me Alan." Jeff said gently. "What are you thinking?"

Alan continued to look out the window now studying the setting sun and he began to talk. Jeff had been honest with him and he felt that this father deserved the same. He told Jeff a lot of things that evening. Some Jeff already knew, there were some things that he had long expected and there were things that took him totally by surprise. He realised once again just how little he understood his youngest son. He knew that Alan felt like he was being punished by being sent away from home when Tin Tin and Fermat were allowed to stay and be home schooled. Alan explained that playing up at school made him feel like it was the only way to get some attention from his father; the only way to get him to actually come to the school. Alan had been too scared to try out for anything because he didn't think that his family would turn up to support him. After all, they had been to Scott's passing out parade for the Air Force, John's book presentation, Virgil's concerts and Gordon's Olympic race and ceremony. How on earth could Alan's achievements compare especially when everyone would have to come from such a long way to watch. Jeff was horrified what Alan in an empty tone that he had always felt like a mistake and his brother's teasing only emphasised that feeling. Why was there such a large gap between Alan and Gordon? The most between the others was the 26 months between John and Virgil.

At this statement Jeff was out of his chair and had his arms around Alan faster than the teenager could have thought possible of his middle aged father.

"Oh Alan." Said Jeff holding his youngest son tightly. "You are not a mistake. Lucy and I certainly didn't plan on any more children, so you a surprise but a great one. We never regretted having you for a single second and we didn't realise until we had you that our family was not complete. And if it makes you feel better we didn't plan on having Gordon _or _Virgil and you don't think that they are mistakes, do you?

Alan smiled and shook his head. The reassurance from his father had meant more than Alan had dared to believe. He took a deep breath.

"Okay dad, I have a proposition for you." He said. Jeff looked surprised and then worried. "I will go back to school and work to pick my grades up plus I'll join some after school clubs and get involved more. I will accept observance training and not going straight into full on missions – as long as we agree some sort of time table or scheme for my development. If, you let me join the motor cross team at school. It is something that means a lot to me. I have worked with them before as part of the mechanics class and they want me to join the team maybe, if I'm any good, as a rider. What do you think?"

Jeff could only look gobsmacked at his son. Up until three days ago he and Alan had done nothing but argue or ignore each other and now his son had turned around with a mature and considered argument. Jeff was seriously worried about his son's safety from joining the team but it was the first time, in a long time, that his son had shown a passion for anything.

_He needs to test his wings and he needs to know that you trust his judgement. Let him fly._ Whispered a lilac scented voice in his ear.

"Okay, I accept your proposition with one further condition." Jeff said smiling. "I want you to ensure that you speak either with me or one of your brothers every week and sent us a message every couple of days that everything is alright. I don't want to lose you, Alan."

"Thanks dad! You rock!" Yelled Alan enthusiastically throwing his arms around his laughing father. "And thank you for giving me the chance to explain myself and for trying to understand."

Jeff's eyebrows shot up in surprise. He had fully realised until that moment that all Alan needed was a bit of attention and empathy. Alan's brothers were so much of a part of his life that Alan couldn't be yet it wasn't any surprise that he felt left behind.

"Thank you for listening and talking to me and giving me an opportunity to be understanding." Said Jeff in reply. "I don't feel I deserve it but let this be a second chance for us both."

"What do you mean 'you don't deserve it'?" Demanded Alan loudly. "I haven't exactly been approachable the last couple of times I've been home."

Before Jeff could reply there was a gentle tap at the door.

"Come in." called Jeff giving Alan a gentle noogie that Alan laughingly attempted to avoid.

The door was pushed open slowly. The other four brothers were peering round the frame.

"Is everything alright?" Scott said. "We heard raised voices."

Jeff turned to Alan and said quietly: "Is there anything else you wanted to discuss?" Alan shook his head. "Okay, boys come in. We need to have a chat."

"Dad, can I go tell Fermat and Tin Tin?" Alan said quickly and enthusiastically.

"Sure Sprout." Jeff said laughing at the happy boy.

"Sweet!" Alan said before dashing from the room. "FERMAT!"

_Please review – as this is my first story all points for improvement are very welcome! Also, I am very English and all I know about America is gained from Film and Television (therefore probably not overly realistic); I apologise if there are any glaring mistakes; please point them out and I will correct them! Thank you!_


	3. Chapter 3

_Hi Guys, the next update is ready early. I will try and update again over the weekend but I have finals next week so I might be a little while before the next chapter is up; apologies in advance._

_All mistakes are mine, and mine alone._

_DISCLAIMER: Nope, still don't own them._

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><p>The next time Alan awoke he was confused as to why he appeared to be practicing planking against a cliff face. Bracing himself he pushed gently away from the wall as he remembered the last waking. He closed his eyes to avoid looking at his stomach again. He knew what the injury looked like, there was nothing he could do about it, and there was no point revisiting it. Alan tried to work about if he had any other injuries. He knew that he must have hit his head, partially because he kept losing consciousness, partially because he couldn't remember how he ended up in this situation and partially because it felt like the Mole was working its way through his brain.<p>

Alan could hear the darkness calling for him but knew he had to fight against it. It would have been so easy to lie down and give up and that was precisely why he knew he shouldn't.

"_Nothing worth doing is easy._" He heard the words spoken in his head but it could have been any of his brothers or even his father who had said it. God knows all of them had quoted the phrase to him at one time or another, usually when they thought that their interference was required or necessary. Rarely was it needed, but that wasn't exactly the point. Once the youngest; always the youngest. Alan smiled as he recalled when he was first highlighted to the fact that none of his family were quite the saints that he had thought them to be.

Alan was scared that he could not recall where he was or how he had come to be in such a state. He knew from his brief glance down that he was in his IR flight suit so he was obviously on a rescue of some kind; but what? Where were his brothers? Any concern that Alan may have had for himself fled at the thought of his family. He knew that they would come for him…. If they could. What if his injuries were minor compared to what they were going through. He needed to remember, he had to. What if they were out there somewhere, injured, and thinking: _it's gonna be okay, Alan will find us. He'll get us out._

Alan could feel a frustrated sob building at the back of his throat. Nothing hurt more than the uncertainty of his family and it always had. He always felt so useless. So unneeded in comparison with the rest of the impressive over-achievers that made up the Tracy Family. That fear had been buried deep over time, but it was only that. Buried. The fear had remained and whilst it had been dormant it had fed and grown. The helplessness of Alan's situation was like a tide that was threatening to overwhelm him and drag him away out to sea. And Alan almost wanted it to, 'cause after all wasn't Gordon always out there in the water? If Alan let the tide take him then he would find one of his brothers.

Before Alan could even begin to realise it the darkness had got her claws into him and she dragged him down as much as he fought it. As he sank into the familiar and comforting darkness he heard someone speak.

"Please help me. Please. I don't want to be alone. Please Mister, please wake up."

_I have to help her._ Alan thought wildly as his IR instincts cut in but there was nothing he could do. The gap between his brain and his mouth was wider that the Grand Canyon and it was only getting wider. The darkness claimed Alan and he returned to times past and to happier memories.

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><p><em>Please review! It makes me happy to know what you enjoywant more of and what isn't that good! Thank you!_


	4. Chapter 4

_Hello! Sorry for such a long delay between postings! Exams are evilllllll! Still out of the way now so I can focus on writing! :D And to make up for such a long wait have a long chapter – (sorry) it kinda got away from me. It's a bit of angst, a bit of humour (I hope) and plenty of brotherly fluff. _

_Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far and sorry i have not had a chance to personally reply to everyone._

_As always, I would love to know what you all think so reviews are very much appreciated. Also, Iam still credit for any and all mistakes. Anyway, that is quite enough babble from me; enjoy! _

_DISCLAIMERS: If I did I would make a proper film….. ah well never mind. And just for the record for my mentioning I also do not own Despicable Me or Peter Pan._

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><p>Alan was sat on his bed when his watched beeped. Alan didn't know just what the rest of his family had discussed after the long talk he'd had with his father but something had changed within their family dynamic. The teasing had calmed down a lot and Alan had only been thrown in the pool once in the last week. All of the brothers had at some point sat down with Alan and all expressed their apologies that he had felt like a mistake within their family. They were all trying a bit too hard to make Alan feel like part of the group and were constantly checking that he was alright. After two and half weeks of essentially being smothered Alan was heartily regretting ever saying anything and was back to avoiding his family even at meal times. He had stolen a bowl of Onaha's stew and retreated to his bedroom. Alan was sat on with his bowl on knee and his laptop on the other as he tried to get through all of his homework before the start of school.<p>

"Alan, can you come and join us in the lounge." Jeff's voice echoed through the watch.

Alan sighed before replying. "F.A.B. I'm on my way." He abandoned his half eaten dinner and the laptop on his desk before padding down to the lounge.

Alan was surprised upon arriving at the lounge. His whole family was gathered there stood in a line in front of the big orange sofa. The four brothers all looked incredibly shifty.

"What's going on?" Alan asked frowning. "This looks like some kind of intervention." No one moved. "Oh god, it isn't, is it?" Alan groaned.

The rest of the family turned to look at Scott. Jeff, John and Virgil looked smug and deeply amused and Gordon looked desperately intrigued.

"Well, go on son." Jeff nudged when Scott made no move.

"When I was 16 I accidentally set fire to the cookery room at school." Scott said really quickly as if it would hurt less to tell the tale quickly. Alan could feel a smile pulling at his lips as Scott continued. "The resulting fire and smoke damage was so bad that not only was I expelled but they asked Johnny and Virge to leave the school too."

John and Virgil both started laughing and Gordon was quick to join in. Scott grimaced before turning to John.

"I don't know why you are laughing so hard." Scott growled at John making him laugh all the more. "It's your turn Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes."

"Oh, it's not as bad as all that." John said still chuckling.

"Oh really?" Questioned Jeff lightly. "Then why did no one other than Scott find out about it?"

John laughed again before answering. "I was too scared to give the squirts any ideas!"

Before Gordon or Alan could complain about being called squirts Virge cut it: "What did you do John? And how did you manage to keep it this quiet?"

"I was also, 16 years old when I got caught trespassing on the grounds of the Kansas Observatory. There had been a break-in the week before and the owners wanted to make an example of someone so they decided to press charges."

Gordon and Virgil exchanged gobsmacked faces. But Alan had a feeling that that wasn't the end of the story and he was right. John didn't continue and they stood in silence for a minute waiting.

"Well?" Scott said eventually. "Go on, tell them how you made it worse for yourself." Scott grinned widely happy to be dumping John in it.

John grimaced and shut his eyes before continuing.

"I didn't have permission to be out of the house at all so I tried to make a run for it. The cops chased me for three towns before I failed an evasive manoeuvre and span off a bridge. I had also nicked Scott's car for my little outing and it was even worse because Dad was in New York on business so the cops had to call… there was no one else… and…"

"Oh my god!" Alan suddenly put two and two together. "They called Grandma, didn't they?"

John still hadn't opened his eyes and just nodded with a grimace as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Both Virgil and Gordon were rolling on the ground laughing and Alan was having a hard time not following suit.

"I vaguely remember something happening." He said thoughtfully. "Was that the summer there was that really bad drought and we couldn't use the swimming pool?"

Scott and John both nodded.

"I was staying with a friend, and so were Virge and Gordo. I remember Virge yelling that he should be old enough to stay at home with you guys rather than being shipped off like one of the little kids."

Virgil blushed. That had been at a stage where Virgil had been a slave to teenage hormones and everything had been a battle.

"When I got back the next morning Johnny was tidying up in the loft and he was so tired that he could barely keep his eyes open but Grandma wouldn't let you go to bed. You weren't allowed to eat with us for about a week if I remember rightly and you weren't allowed desert for about three months."

"Man, Grandma was so pissed." John said still grimacing. "When she and Scott came to get me after the cops called I thought she was gonna kill me herself!"

"I don't think I have ever seen her so cross before, or since." Scott nodded. "She was ranting almost the whole way to the police station. And think John if you had just waited three weeks I would have been 18 and I could have posted your bail like I did for Gordy."

Alan's eyes shot to Gordon who was steadily turning bright red.

"Let's not jump ahead." Jeff cut in. "It's Virgil's turn next."

Virgil stopped laughing at Gordon at this comment.

"Thanks, Dad." He said sarcastically.

"Any time, son." Jeff calmly replied putting his feet up on the coffee table. Whilst Jeff would never admit it, Alan knew his father was having a great time hearing past tales recounted.

"So, I relocated schools after Scott's culinary disaster and moved to another school. Which I then got kicked out of for fighting. I was 15 and took on a group of seniors who thought it was okay to mess with John after Scott had graduated."

John's head sunk it to his hands. "I think that this is more embarrassing than being arrested. My younger brother being kicked out of school for fighting for me." His voice was muffled but still perfectly clear.

Scott had shot to his feet. "That was why you were expelled?" He all but thundered. "What happened?"

John raised his head out of hands to look at Virgil then Jeff then back to Virgil. There was silence for a few seconds before John turned to Alan.

"Do you remember me coming back from boarding school?" He asked.

Alan nodded all good humour falling from his face. Alan remembered John coming home very well indeed. He was covered in plaster for the broken bones as well as bruises on almost every inch of his skin. He was still sleeping almost 24/7 because of the head injury and could barely even sit up on his own. Jeff had taken Alan into his office after they had got back. Alan remembered his eight year old self being sat on Jeff's knee. Jeff had explained that John had suffered a nasty fall so he needed lots of quiet to rest and recover. Jeff had asked him not to tell Scott about what had happened because Scott would want to come home but he needed to stay at school. Alan had wanted Scotty to come home so badly, it wasn't right that all his brothers had to grow up and therefore go away when he had to stay. But Johnny and Virge had also asked him to not tell Scott so begrudgingly he had agreed.

"I always wondered what had actually happened." He said looking anywhere but directly at any of his brothers. "I knew something more had happened than what Dad and Grandma told me, but I assumed that it was so I really couldn't blab it to Scotty. He was struggling enough as it was."

John raised an eyebrow surprised at my answer but before he could offer a comment Scott cut in.

"What happened?" He said flatly staring at John.

When it was obvious that John was not going to say anything Scott's eye flickered to Virgil.

"So, classes had just finished for the day and I was gonna dump my bag back in my dorm room before dinner 'cause I had art club straight after dinner." Said Virgil. His eyes were slightly unfocused as he remembered events long since passed. "I was right at the bottom of the stairs when… what happened… it… I-" He cut himself off, looked quickly at John and then away again. "I was right at the bottom of the stairs when John came tumbling down them." Virgil shut his eyes tightly trying to stop the memories rising. He continued speaking so quickly that the words were almost indistinguishable. "He fell down and hit almost every step on the way. He hit the bottom and didn't move. He was so still. And, I thought for a second…. God, I thought John was _dead_. There was so much blood and it was everywhere and this group of seniors were stood at the top and they were laughing like it was the funniest thing they had ever seen. And I knew… I knew John hadn't fallen. They had pushed him and he wasn't getting up and they thought it was funny and… and…" Virgil was now breathing so fast that he was practically hyperventilating. He suddenly stood and walked over to the window. He made an attempt to continue. "And I was just so pissed. I really thought for a second that John was never gonna get up again, and would never again drag me out in the middle of the night to watch the stars and he was never gonna sneak me cookies or chocolate when Grandma said I couldn't have any 'cause I'd done something I shouldn't have and they were just laughing and laughing and they didn't stop."

Everyone was staring Virgil's back in shock. They had never seen Virgil so worked up. Not even after their mother had died. Suddenly Virgil threw his glass and it shattered against the wall; the liquid flying everywhere. Virgil disappeared through the French doors and they heard him run down the steps, past the pools and into the jungle.

"Did you know that, John?" Jeff asked. He looked totally shell-shocked. "Did you know that it bothered Virgil that much?"

John shook his head. "We never actually talked about it." He said. "When I came round Virgil was holding my hand like he was never gonna let go. He told me what had happened and that he'd been kicked out and that you were on the way. He told me that if I ever scared him that badly again he would kick the crap out of me. He then changed the conversation. Every time I tried to talk to him about it, especially when I started to get some of the memories back, he always refused to talk about it."

"How badly were you hurt?" Gordon asked, totally serious.

John sighed again and ran his hand through his hair.

"Pretty badly. Broken arm and leg, three broken ribs, minor skull fracture and bruising on almost every inch of his body." Alan had said quite calmly.

John now looked really surprised.

"What?" Alan shrugged. "I remember Dad getting the call and taking off. He was so panicked he forgot to put me in the plane!" Alan was fighting laughter at the look on the faces of his family.

Jeff groaned and held his head in his hands. "Of all the things you would remember." He said.

"Hey, I was eight and I was on my own for three hours, before Grandma got there." Then he did laugh; a fond look on his face. "Up until that day I thought Grandma didn't know any swear words. I remember her phoning you and 'setting you straight'."

"You really forgot Alan?"

Everyone span round in surprise at Virgil's question. He was incredibly red in the face, but no one could be sure if it was embarrassment, exercise or the emotions he had obviously kept bottled up for a really long time.

Jeff shot to his feet before anyone else could move.

"Virgil, are you alright?" Jeff immediately went to his middle born son and escorted him back over to the sofa.

"Yeah, I'm alright." Virgil said squirming under the attention. "Sorry, about before. I didn't mean to break the glass."

"Don't worry about it." Jeff said waving a hand dismissively. "I'm more worried about you. Are you sure you are okay?"

"Did you really forget Alan?" Virgil repeated.

Jeff and Virgil stared each other down for a few seconds before Jeff looked away.

"In my defence it was a genuine mistake. Although I should have wondered why it was so quiet on the flight. Alan had never been that quiet on a flight before. So, when your grandmother phoned asking where my youngest son was I really did think he was safely strapped in Tracy One and then… wow. It had been a long time since I received such a thorough dressing down. I can still hear her now: 'it took nearly ten years off my life coming home to the house in such a state. Your youngest son was sat in front of the television, covered head to toe in flour from trying to cook something on his own because and I quote 'daddy, took the plane and flew away and I was here alone and I was hungry, so I thought what would Scotty do…? So, I made cookies!'" Here Jeff had to stop because Alan was rolling around holding his sides with laughter.

"That's how traumatised I was!" He teased Jeff once he had finally got control of himself again. "I was so scared all on my own that I tried to recreate one of Scott Tracy's infamous culinary disasters!"

Everyone else had tears streaming down their faces with laughter at the mental images this story was creating. Scott threw a cushion at Alan in mock anger but the throw went wide because of his laughter.

"Grandma was cleaning up for about six hours." Alan said wiping his eyes. "She always said that it was so impressive because I had only been unsupervised for about three hours!"

Alan's laughter was contagious and soon everyone was off again.

"You were lucky she ever allowed you to eat her puddings ever again!" Gordon joked.

Jeff laughed before he sobered up.

"She forgave me surprisingly quickly." He said. "When I told her what had happened she understood why I so flustered I forgot a child." He looked at John then Virgil then back to John. "The school had rung and said that if I wanted to see John I needed to get here now. They explained what had happened, and that Virgil was going to be expelled. And then, they told me as a 'oh and by the way' that when they had told Virgil this he had taken off and they couldn't find him so if I could perhaps hurry, they would appreciate it."

"What exactly did you do, Virge?" Gordon asked.

"Showed them why you should never mess you a Tracy." Virgil had a dark smile on his face, one that was out of character and made him look more than a little scary.

"Let me see if I remember correctly." Jeff said. "You hospitalised five boys, broke the nose of one other and four teachers had had to prise you off a sixth who you were trying to throttle against the lockers. Did I get it right?"

"Almost." Virgil rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Technically, I hospitalised nine boys. They took broken-nose and throttled-against-the-lockers to hospital as well as the seven, that according the school administration, I 'maimed'. Still, each of them individually was less injured than John was."

To say that everyone was gobsmacked would be an understatement. Scott mouth was so hanging so far open it was almost to the floor. Gordon recovered first and started giggling. Gordon seemed aware that his humour would not be appreciated right now and was trying desperately to keep it to himself. He slowly turned red as he shoved most of his fist into his mouth in an effort to keep quiet. Alan took one look at Gordon and burst out laughing. Jeff's lips twitched as he fought the urge to laugh.

"I still remember you turning up at the hospital." John said suddenly. "You came charging in like hellhounds were chasing you and when you saw Virge you just stopped. You called a nurse, checked that I was gonna be okay, then turned to Virge and attempted to start a 'fighting's wrong' lecture which ended up turning into a 'congratulations on beating up nine kids much bigger and tougher than you' speech."

Virgil started laughing at this point much to everyone's surprise.

"Man, I'd forgotten that!" He said fondly. "You did try to get back on track with that though; as I recall you ended up saying 'so, it was a job well done, but fighting is wrong so next time if you have to follow through with violence don't get caught or I am gonna run out of schools to send you lot to.'"

Jeff sighed in remembrance. "What can I say? When I saw how injured John was I was so angry. I did try with the lecture but my heart wasn't in it as you probably noticed."

"I can't believe that you guys never told me." Said Scott. He sounded gutted. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Scott, do you feel guilty that you weren't there?" asked John.

Scott nodded obviously unsure where the conversation was headed.

"There was nothing you could have done about it; it was over and done with. Virge went to a different school and I stayed at home and finished school through a satellite programme. You hated college enough as it was. I didn't want to be the excuse to bring you home."

"I still can't believe you didn't tell me about it when I came back." He said.

Before anything else could be said on the matter Virgil turned to Gordon.

"Go on then, Fishy." He said. "Your turn."

At this Gordon grinned wildly.

Jeff groaned into his hand. "You'd think he was almost proud of this." He said.

"How many counts did I have in the end, Scotty?" He asked grinning like a maniac.

"More than Johnny, at least. So I would say quite an achievement." Scott said nudging John. John knew that the issue was not dropped in the least but that Scott wasn't angry about it.

"So, on a school trip in New York city, I ended up in loads of trouble." Gordon said turning to Alan. "We'd been to a bar for the evening and I have no idea how the hell we were getting served but we were so please with ourselves so we just kept ordering more drinks. After we got chucked out 'cause it was closing time we were headed back to the hotel and we decided to cut through Central Park. Do you remember Dave Cullis?"

Everyone nodded. Dave had never been that popular within the Tracy Family. All the elder family members thought that Gordon got into enough trouble on this own without having the help of anyone else. And god knows neither Gordon nor Alan needed any ideas.

"Well, Dave and I had this on-going bet." Gordon continued at everyone's nod. "It was for $25,000 and it was that there must be somewhere that I wouldn't go swimming. It was a largely forgotten bet but every so often Dave would pull it out of the bag in really inconvenient places." Jeff gave Gordon a look and the red head felt compelled to explain further. "Normally, it wasn't anything that bad, it was normally just random or when everyone would get a kick from essentially making me take to the water. So, when we went to the beach in the middle of the winter, or when we were in shark infested waters, once at an Aquarium, you know that sort of thing. Well, anyway, we'd all had a few to drink and Dave turns to me and suggests that I wouldn't go swimming in a fountain. We had a bit of a joking argument about it and a long story short I went swimming in the fountain before deciding that the statue in the middle needed a hat, so when the cops found me trying to put a traffic cone on the top of this angel they weren't too impressed."

"An angel?" Questioned Alan. For some reason he had a feeling that Gordon was down playing this somewhat.

Scott and Virgil exchanged amused glances, for once pleased that Alan was brighter than his brothers often gave him credit for. John started to laugh.

"Yeah it was this tall bird up in the middle of the fountain." Gordon replied evasively.

"Gordon." Jeff said warningly.

"Okay, okay, so it was the Bethesda Fountain." Gordon said in a huff. "So sue me."

Scott, John and Virgil all burst out laughing as Jeff's head sank into his hands again.

"They tried to." Scott said still laughing. "Thank god, we can afford some of the best lawyers on the planet. In the end, we only had to pay a fine and that was for indecent exposure because someone didn't want to get their clothes wet."

Everyone turned back to Gordon who just shrugged.

"What? It was still a long walk back to the hotel from the park and everyone knows how much wet jeans chafe." He said with an attempted innocent smile on his face.

Alan laughed a lot at that whilst Jeff's head remained in the relative safety on his hands.

"The point is, Allie," Jeff said eventually leaving his sanctuary. "that over the years all of us have messed up on something or the other and all of us have got into our fair share of mischief and trouble. But we tried to hide it from each other, whereas anything you did was paraded in front of the whole family, and we let you believe that you were the only one that had ever messed up, which simply isn't true. We wanted you to know our mistakes, to understand that we aren't being malicious when we tease you for yours. And perhaps now you can give as good as you get."

Alan smiled and thought for a second.

"Dad? You said that all of you have messed up?" Alan made this half a question, half a statement.

Jeff nodded for Alan to continue.

"What did _you_ do?" Alan asked a smile breaking across his face.

Jeff groaned as his head sank back into his hands.

Gordon laughed as he clapped his father on the back.

"Well done dad, you walked straight into that one!"

Jeff sighed and raised his head once more looking like he was praying for patience.

"What didn't I do?" Was his eventual answer. "How much of Kansas do you remember?"

Alan shrugged. "Hardly anything just stupid little things. I remember the heat in the summer. I remember spilling juice on the kitchen carpet and you had to try and move that massive chest freezer to try and clean it all up. I remember the sunlight through the apple trees." Alan shrugged again. "Nothing really clearly, and most of the time I wonder if I actually remember those things or if I just made up images from what you talk about or from the photographs."

Jeff rubbed his face. "Oh Allie," he said gutted that Alan couldn't remember the place that had been such a warm and great part of their lives. "We should go back to Kansas, even if it's just for the weekend. For the moment, let me tell you what growing up in Kansas was like. Everyone knew everyone; it should be the poster for the saying 'it's not what you know, it's who you know'. Only once did I bunk off school and when I got home my mother knew exactly where I had been, with who, and what we had got up to. It was impossible to do anything without being seen by someone. It just made us all extra sneaky about what we got up to. It's probably where Gordon gets it from. Sure, I never got kicked out of school and I never got arrested but I did get escorted home by the law more than once, I skipped classes but would then break into school at night because the best place to watch the stars was the roof of the gym."

Jeff suddenly realised all of his sons were staring at him gobsmacked.

"What?" He said. "I know it was practically _centuries_ ago but I was once a misunderstood teenager once too, you know."

TBTBTBTBTB

The atmosphere in the house lightened a lot after that and Alan felt more prepared to deal with his family. It made him start to get ready to go back to school and stick to the bargain he had made with his father. It didn't make the past any easier to deal with; it just changed the angle that Alan looked at it.

The night before Alan was due to go back to school Scott went to check on Alan only to find that he wasn't fast asleep in his bed as he should have been. An automatic search began for the youngest Tracy. It was John who thought to check the roof. God only knows how Alan was staying on the sharp, canted roof but he was making it look effortless. John flopped gracelessly down next to him.

"Couldn't sleep." Alan said defensively in lieu of greeting.

"The view is pretty cool from here." Was all John said in reply.

They laid that way for several minutes before John's conscience caught up with him.

"You know, everyone is tearing around the house looking for you?" He asked softly. At the look on Alan's face he held his hands up. "Not an accusation just wondering if you knew."

Alan continued to look up at the stars.

"Yeah, I know. I just wasn't quite ready to be found." Alan said softly.

John lifted his watch and pressed the button to connect him with Gordon. Technically this didn't count as a prank as such, but he did owe some payback to Gordon, and payback was a bitch.

"Tell the search to stand down. I got him." He said.

"Where was the little guppy hiding?" Demanded Gordon pseudo anger hiding the concern.

"Doesn't matter. Tell dad, we'll be back in a little bit. John out."

With this John disconnected the line to Gordon.

"So, would you like to talk to me or would you like me to bugger off?" John asked.

"Where is Thunderbird Five?" Asked Alan suddenly.

John knew enough that if Alan wanted to share something that he would go in the most roundabout way to do it. The mystery to getting to the bottom of something as far as his younger carbon copy was concerned was to enjoy the ride, and learn more about him by the titbits he dropped on the way.

"Just there." He said pointing at a bright spark.

"It looks like the second star to the right." Alan commented.

John smiled at this. "And straight on until dawn?" He asked.

Alan spared him a glance. "Yeah, something like that." He said as he looked skyward again. "Did you know the bloke who wrote Peter Pan lost his older brother?" Alan asked.

John, being a certified genius, did know this but didn't want to admit it and take the wind from Alan's sails now that the kid was actually talking. "Really?"

"Yeah. Fell through the ice and drowned just before his 14th birthday. The family never recovered. They think it's why he chose to write about a kid who would never grow up. His brother would forever be stuck at 13."

"That's sad." John said not quite sure where this was headed.

"Yeah." Alan agreed.

They laid in silence for a while. John pondered on the direction of the conversation so far wondering where his brother's mind was as he stared unblinkingly upwards.

"What's that constellation?" He asked pointing to a group of stars nearby the bright light that was Thunderbird Five.

John sent Alan a long look. He wasn't sure if he wanted to believe that a son and brother of two decorated astronauts couldn't identify the big dipper when he saw it. The look on Alan's face seemed sincere so John decided to answer the question as though it was a serious one.

"That, Allie, is Ursa Major. And see that group just there?" He pointed slightly higher up and traced the constellation with his finger "That is Ursa Minor. In Greek mythology, Zeus was having an affair with a young woman named Callisto, a nymph of Artemis. To hide Callisto from Hera, Zeus' jealous wife, he transformed Callisto into a bear. Callisto, while in bear form, later encountered her son Arcas. Arcas almost shot the bear, but to avert the tragedy, Zeus turned them into bears and put them in the sky, forming Ursa Major and Ursa Minor. Callisto is Ursa Major and Arcas is Ursa Minor. In ancient times the name of the constellation was Helike, ("turning"), because it turns around the Pole. So, it looks like Arcas still watches over his mother now."

"How much do you feel like you miss out on stuff, being up there watching over us?" Alan asked as soon as John finished speaking.

_Manipulative little shit; 'what's that constellation' my foot_. Still, John knew that they were now getting to the heart of the matter.

"Sometimes, I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. I spent all day up in the stars, I'm part of something that is amazing and lifesaving and I still get to talk to my family every day. Then, I come home. Scott throws me in the pool, Virgil tries to do my portrait sneakily whilst I'm trying to read my book, Gordon will put toothpaste on the toilet seat and cling film under it, and you've grown so much and I feel like we don't even know each other anymore. And then I go 'oh shit' because I know I'm missing _everything_, every down played injury, every horror that they see every rescue. Everything, I miss out on, because I'm there and part of it but still not really." John paused slightly unable to believe that all that, despite being true, just came from his mouth.

"Huh." Alan said.

He opened his mouth to say more and then shut it again.

"I'm all ready to go back to school, now." Alan eventually said as he sat up.

From the reflection on the word 'now' made John feel that Alan was implying that up until two minutes ago he wasn't ready and that his words had made Alan ready.

"I'll see you in the morning." Alan said.

"Wait, Alan." John said also sitting up. "What's on your mind? And don't tell me it's nothing."

Alan sighed and laid back down.

"So, talking of Greek mythology did you know that the name for Peter Pan was partly from the satyr Pan who was the god of mischief?"

_Great_. They were back on Peter Pan again.

"Yeah," John said, "But he was also the god of many things. I know you have a point you want to make, Allie. How long are we gonna play in circles before we get there?"

Alan rolled on to his side and propped himself up on one elbow so that he was facing his older brother.

"You guys know that you can't keep me as this idealised innocent kid forever, right?" He asked. "Don't get me wrong, I know I'll always be the baby, even when I am 80, but you know I'm not gonna be a kid forever, right?" Alan rolled back on to his back to stare at the stars. "You can all try and watch over and try and keep me safe and sequestered but it's impossible."

John blinked. This was getting deep and fast. Who the hell even uses a word like sequestered? Especially in the right context and at almost midnight?

"Sure, it would be cool to only have to worry about flirting with Tiger-Lilly and fighting off pirates but you can't keep me as a child. I am growing up and I have to. I know you all don't want to see that but I can't do anything about that. The Hood proved that. You can fight for my illusion of innocence but the Hood took that from all of us and there is nothing that we can do about that, apart from let Virgil play a sad song on his piano and have a little funeral pyre for it. You can sit up there" he pointed upwards but John couldn't tell if he was pointing at the constellations or Five. "and watch but you have to let me be whoever I am gonna be and it is gonna be okay. Trust me and not as the baby Tracy just as Alan, the kid who did grow up."

John just sat there and stared gob smacked at his littlest brother. _Holy shit_. When did Alan get so… so…. So fricking mature? Even cool-as-a-cucumber Gordon wanted to help the Hood escape from jail just so that the Tracy's could go all vigilante on his creepy butt and here was Alan making semi sarcastic funerals for his departed innocence. Why did he have to be so big about this? It half helped to see where his younger brother had his head at but it half made it worse because he was so _okay_ with it. John was meant to be the calm Tracy and even he was this altogether about the events of Spring Break.

"John?" Alan prompted when John didn't respond.

"We do trust you, sprout. And we will try to let you do your own thing and not get too overprotective, but it's gonna be hard for us. I know you probably don't even realise it but it's really hard for us to let you go. That first week when you've gone back to school the rest of us are just plain pathetic. Gordon's face is like a monkey's ass and someone just kicked his dead puppy, Virgil barely leaves the piano and Scott tries to make sure that everyone else is alright, Dad drinks the Island out of coffee and we are all checking every ten minutes to see if anyone has heard from you." John saw the slight frown on Alan's face and he knew through big-brother- physic-powers what the younger blonde's question was gonna be. "I eat my own body weight in chocolate." He added huffily.

Alan smiled slightly looking at his hands. "I check my phone every five minutes, hoping I've heard from one of you. It just seemed desperately needy to be contacting you all the time. After all, you all have busy jobs."

John had scooted over to Alan as he was still talking. He wrapped his good arm around Alan's shoulders.

"Allie, you can contact any of us, whenever you like and it's not needy or desperate. And I know that we would _all_ love to hear from you more often."

"Thanks, John." Alan said leaning into John's shoulder.

They sat in a comfortable and companionable silence for several minutes before John had to ask the question that was still unanswered.

"Why did you suddenly say that you were ready to go back to school?"

"Because you understand… understood… oh whatever. You're there and part of it and even you don't feel like part of it. It made me feel less misunderstood. You're not a teenager and are the most level-headed person on the planet and we feel the same. I can now go back because you made me feel like I'm not really alone."

Wow, talk about being taken down to size, the wind take from your sails, pick-your-metaphor-and-insert-here. Who'da thought - the kid just needed to know that it was okay to feel the way he felt, even if he hadn't phrased it quite that way.

John knew that he needed to speak to his father and brothers about this, but once the youngest Tracy was back at school. John knew that it would be months before the repairs and improvements to Five were complete. Things had to change and dammit, John was going to make sure that they did.

TBTBTBTBTBTB

The next day Alan returned to school prepared, ready and up for the challenge. It was somehow harder to say goodbye because he finally wanted to go. It should have made it easier… but it didn't and hey, when is life ever like that?

Jeff had barely got out of the plane having landed safely back on Tracy Island when everyone's phone started beeping, tuning or, in Gordon's case, the Minions from Despicable Me. Father and brothers all exchanged cautious looks as they each pulled out their phones.

_Howdy, this is an automated message from Op5, confirming continued existence. Please be prepared for further confirmation in ten minute intervals. To stop receiving these texts please send the word 'stop' with a food package from Onaha to room 34, Wellington Hall. Food sucks, orientation is zzzzz and I've already got detention for fighting in the corridors… hahaha, just kidding…. Or am I? Mwahahaha. Talk soon Al_

It took Gordon almost ten minutes to stop laughing by which time the text was resent causing him to start laughing again.

"'confirming continued existence.'" Scott quoted looking at his father.

Jeff in turn looked at John who was snickering.

God, he loved that little shit so much it was actually a little unbelievable. Alan had the strangest ability to reassure and panic simultaneously. Presumably this was a trait developed from being the youngest of five rowdy, boisterous boys.

"Just what did you and Alan talk about, last night?" Jeff asked.

"I'm glad you asked Dad." Said John taking a seat and getting comfy.

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><p><em>The story that Jeff tells about never getting away with anything is true. The only time I skipped school my mother even knew exactly what I had bought from the fish and chip shop at lunch time! It was impossible to get away with anything in the town where I grew up!<em>

_Pretty please review… :)_


	5. Chapter 5

_Hi Everyone! Many apologies for the long gap between postings – live has been a bit manic as always. Anyway, here is the next chapter for your attention. As before, this has not been beta read so all mistakes are mine._ _Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and sorry I have not had a chance to personally reply to everyone._

_Disclaimer: The sand pit belongs to the Anderson's; I'm just playing in it! _

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><p>The next time Alan woke he knew that he had been unconscious for a long time. The sun had gone down and the sky was pink and purple shot. Alan's alarm grew as he realised several ramifications of the oncoming night. His brothers were still unaccounted for and he was still in a precarious situation. Alan tried to concentrate of what to do but he was struggling to hold on to a single thought. His eyelids were heavy and his head was killing him.<p>

Alan smiled as he thought about what he had been dreaming about. His brothers had been a lot more open with him after the little 'intervention' they had held. They sort of decided that their authority had been undermined enough and might just as well make the most of the improved relations with their youngest brother. Besides, their main concern had always been that Alan didn't need any encouragement, but actually if they played it right then his attentions might turn to Gordon, who god knows, needed to competition and maybe, just maybe, might get put in his place for a change. And if anyone could do it, it was the youngest of the Tracy family. Once Alan had returned to school things improved greatly but things were still troubled. It took them about three months to realise just how bad but still… Alan wasn't sure if he knew just how close he had come to being lost forever.

Alan forced the thoughts to one side and tried to focus on the present. Recollections would not get him out of this position. The pain from his abdomen was fading now and whilst Alan was glad he knew that this was not a good thing. The main pain he felt now, other than the drilling in his brain, was in his right arm. It was twisted at an unnatural angle, trapped above his head and caught in the rope that was connected to his harness. He knew automatically from past experience that his arm was most likely dislocated. The muscles around his shoulder were screaming from bearing so much weight for such a long time. Alan attempted to shift his position to alleviate some of the pain. He had to hold back a scream as the movement caused pain to flair not only in his shoulder but in his head and stomach too. Alan greyed out, and once the world began to return he noticed it spinning idly. At first Alan thought that it was his head but as he saw sea, cliff, sea, cliff he realised that his movements had started him twirling on the end of the rope. He attempted to brace himself against the cliff with his left arm before he realised the limb was also trapped. Alan would have to look down to free it. He took a deep breath and glanced down. His hand was entwined in a second harness from which dangled a woman. Alan suddenly remembered that he had heard a woman talking to him before he had last passed out.

"Hello?" He said gently. He feared that she might have died whilst he had been out of it.

She stirred as Alan called out again and immediately looked up.

"You're awake!" She said happily although unnecessarily.

Alan smiled. "Sorry, I haven't been much in the way of company." He said.

"You saved me." She said simply.

"I'm Alan."

"I know. I think just about anyone in the world would recognise your face. I'm Maggie. Don't worry; your secret will stay safe with me." She said.

Alan's breath caught when she admitted that she knew who he was. Anonymity was essential for IR to continue running, Alan knew that his father would be annoyed but there wasn't much Alan could do about it now.

"How are you feeling?" Maggie asked. "You've lost a lot of blood."

Alan glanced down again. Maggie was covered in blood.

"You're asking me?" He exclaimed. "Have you seen the state of you?"

"Ah well, I don't think any of this is mine." She said softly. At Alan's confused expression she explained. "Gravity is a bitch."

Oh. Alan understood. It was his blood.

"How long have we… what time is it?" He asked not really sure if he wanted to know how long they had been waiting for a rescue that might not come. He forced those thoughts away. His brothers were fine. They just had to be.

"It's just gone nine." Maggie said glancing at her watch. "We've been here about four hours."

"What happened?" He asked. He was feeling so tired and it was making him slow. He struggled to remember the run of events that had led to this. He panicked when he wasn't even sure of the day, month or year. How hard had he hit his head?

Maggie looked at him sharply. "You don't remember?"

"I don't know." Alan said closing his eyes in frustration. "Everything is jumbled."

"Alan? Alan! Open your eyes. Stay awake. Don't leave me! ALAN!"

He knew that he should obey the voice but the weight was so very, very heavy. He would listen to her and to the sea and to the gentle evening breeze for just a minute and then he would force his eyes open once more. He would…. He would…. Maybe sleep wouldn't be such a bad idea. It would help to organise his thoughts… Not a long sleep. No, just five more minutes…. It wouldn't hurt… what harm could five minutes do…?

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><p><em>Pretty please review and in exchange I promise not to have such a long time between updates! Thank you for reading! <em>


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